Choosing the Perfect School Begins with a Conversation

Ruth Benny breaks down the importance of personal interactions in understanding a school’s true character

Navigating the maze of schools in Hong Kong’s competitive education scene is no small feat.
As an education consultant with more than 13 years’ experience steering families through this high-stakes journey, as well as many years of being a teacher before that, I’ve seen the process spark everything from blind hope to sheer panic. Yet, the secret to finding the perfect school is deceptively simple: it all hinges on a conversation — real, human interactions that provide a window into a school’s soul.

About Ruth Benny

With more than 30 years of experience in education, Ruth Benny is the founder and “head girl” at admissions consultancy Top Schools. Independent advisers in Hong Kong and the UK, the team has been supporting parents since 2012, cutting through the noise with heartfelt advice and securing offers from schools that best fit each child.

The power of the human voice

In 2025, a phone call remains a powerful and relevant way to connect with a school, offering a unique glimpse into its character through personal interaction. When you call the admissions office, you’re not just asking about fees or facilities; you’re testing for warmth, attentiveness and authenticity.
Does the voice on the other end sound professional and caring, or rushed with rehearsed answers? Realistically (and sadly), many schools now lean on impersonal emails or online forms or treat a phone call as an imposition — but that also tells you a lot. Parents, make that call – it’s worth it!

The irreplaceable school visit

Nothing compares to walking a school’s corridors, where the hum of learning and laughter (or lack thereof) tells a story no website can. Having done hundreds of visits, I’ve learned to trust the visceral. You’ve selected which schools to visit based on logic; the visit itself is an emotional experience. Ask yourself: Are students polite and engaged? Do teachers radiate passion?

Forget the shiny sports halls or state-of-the-art theatres some schools parade like real estate. Facilities are a baseline; it’s the culture within them that matters.
On a tour, ask pointed (polite!) questions – whatever is important to your family and your child – and weigh the answers against your family’s values. If the vibe feels off, trust your gut and walk away. A school should feel like a potential home for your child, not a showroom.

Beyond tours: layers of connection

Open days, education fairs and workshops also offer additional, if chaotic, glimpses into a school’s ethos. These touchpoints, though less intimate, can add depth to your understanding.
Webinars have their place, but they pale against face-to-face exchanges.
Each interaction – whether a chat with a head teacher over coffee or a Q&A at a festival – peels back the marketing veneer, revealing whether a school truly aligns with your child’s needs. These moments are your compass, and it’s important to learn how to navigate carefully.

Why conversations are non-negotiable

Personal connections are the bedrock of an informed decision. A school’s website may dazzle, but only a conversation reveals if it can nurture your child’s unique personality or ambitions. Do they share your emphasis on holistic growth or academic rigour? Will they partner with you through challenges?
I’ve watched parents pivot from uncertainty to confidence after a single, candid exchange with a principal. Without these interactions, you’re left with guesswork: a risky gamble in a decision this monumental.

My advice: take meticulous notes after each touchpoint. Jot down how the school addressed your child’s unique needs, whether the atmosphere felt inclusive, or if the staff seemed genuinely invested. These reflections can transform fleeting impressions into clarity.

A call to action for parents

In Hong Kong’s complicated education landscape, settling for less than meaningful dialogue is a disservice to your child. Push for those calls, insist on tours and show up to fairs armed with questions.
Trust your instincts; they’re your most reliable guide.
My team at Top Schools has spent years championing this approach, helping families forge relationships with schools that feel like true partners.
Choosing a school isn’t just about academics; it’s about finding a community that will shape your child’s future with care.